Does our speech build up or tear down?

We all know the sayings that convey helpful tidbits for everyday life such as, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away” and “Every cloud has a silver lining.” While a bit trite, they reveal simple rules for living such as eating healthy food and looking for the good in every circumstance. One of these oft-repeated phrases has never resonated with me, however: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” 

Why don’t I like it? While I can appreciate the desire to teach kids to be resilient and tough in the face of insults or poor language, it’s also incredibly important to understand how powerful and damaging our words can be. How we speak and what we say really matters, so as disciples of Jesus, we should pay close attention to what Scripture reveals about proper speech.

We all know the 8th commandment outlawing lying or bearing false witness, but let’s look at what else Scripture has to say on this topic. 

•  The Letter of James, chp. 3, features strong, poignant descriptions of how the tongue affects us and those around us: “The tongue is also a fire … with it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings who are made in the likeness of God.” (6, 9) James also compares the tongue to the bit of the bridle of the horse and the rudder of a ship, both of which illustrate considerable control and directional power of our words. 

•  In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus says: “For from the fullness of the heart, the mouth speaks.” (12:34) Our words reveal our hearts, so we must continue to allow the Lord to transform our hearts since that will impact every aspect of our lives.

•  St. Paul writes in his Letter to the Ephesians: “No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear.” (4:29) 

While gossip, slander, vulgarity and inappropriate humor are all tempting, we’re called as Jesus’ disciples to resist those urges and purify our speech. Before you speak, take into careful consideration whether your words are bringing life or tearing it down. At times we can feel as though we don’t have control over many aspects of our lives, and yet we do have control over what we choose to say. So let’s be vigilant in taming the tongue. 

Speak life, generously affirm, lovingly correct and commit to speech befitting a follower of Christ. Remember that a stick might break an arm, but an unkind word can wound the heart.