We cannot judge anyone. We can’t know what is in anyone’s heart, mind or soul. We are constantly trying to know ourselves, and the judgment of all hearts and souls is reserved only to God, so we cannot judge. When someone feels deep loneliness, pain and immense silence, they may feel that there is no way out. They think that it would be better not to live anymore.

Silence, pain, isolation, insecurity, sorrow and hopelessness can be very strong. Intrusive thoughts can tell us that we are not worthy and there is no way out: no one listens to me, no one needs me, I can’t do anything, the world is ungrateful, evil is everywhere, I can’t trust anyone. These thoughts can make someone listen to an inner voice that may say: end it, nobody would care.

Suicide has no borders. It does not discriminate on nationality, race, sexuality, language, religion, culture or financial status. Suicide is an overwhelming reality, painful and complicated. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) statistics of August 2023, suicide is one of the major causes of death in the United States. 

When we discuss the subject, it is important that we understand what it means. The National Institute of Mental Health explains the following:

• Suicide is death caused by direct behavior to hurt oneself with the intent to die.
• Intent of suicide is the personal behavior directed towards killing or harming one’s self, that doesn’t result in death; not all attempts end in physical injury.
• Ideation of suicide is thinking, planning or considering self harm.

Statistics from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention state that in 2022, nearly 50,000

Americans died by suicide and an estimated 1.6 million people attempted it. Men died by suicide nearly 4% more than women, and the average number of people who die each day by suicide in the United States is 132. CDC statistics note that the rate increased nearly 3% between 2021 and 2022, and firearms were present in more than 50% of suicides.

Many families in our communities are affected by this painful situation. Many suffer from loneliness in silence out of shame or because they can’t understand and comprehend what happened. How could someone that I know, appreciate, respect and care for have gotten to that level? How did I not see it, or suspect it? What were the signs that I missed or did not believe? Why couldn't I do anything?

There is not a single reason why people end their lives. So many factors play a role, like mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, anxiety and depression; consumption of alcohol or other substance abuse; despair of job loss, a loved one or an important relationship; aggressive impulses; financial difficulties; and isolation. Some people ignore a physical or mental illness and don’t seek medical treatment.

Our call as Catholics is to love everyone. We are meant to serve, support, care, guide and be merciful. We must not be afraid if anyone shares with us that his or her life does not have meaning. Don’t tell the person that he or she doesn’t have the right to feel that way. Speaking in this manner makes people feel judged or distance themselves from us. It is important to recognize that not all of us are prepared to talk, guide or help in that situation, but what we can do is to recommend that person to look for help and stay with them until they find it.

When we find out that someone has died by suicide, it is difficult not to wonder if he or she will be condemned. Suicide is seemingly a loss of trust in God, our Father. But remember: We do not know what is in the heart, mind or soul of any person. The Lord alone is the judge of our hearts, and at the moment of death, human thoughts do not limit our infinite God, the Father of all.

September is suicide prevention month. A walk is held annually in the Charleston area to remember those who have died by suicide and to support those who loved them. The walk raises funds for research, attention and education on suicide: afsp.org/charleston.

In this country, we have access now to a free phone line that could be used at any hour any day of the year. This number is easy to remember, and I recommend that everyone keep it in their cell phone: 988. The hotline has access to many languages and is totally private and secure.

In the special celebrations of the holidays, such as Christmas, New Year’s or the beginning of the year, people tend to feel lonely and desperate. So please let’s keep in our prayers those who are lonely, all those who are in pain, and ask for Mary, the mother of mercy, to wrap her mantle around them and give them comfort and peace.

September is National Suicide Prevention Month. National Suicide Prevention Week runs Sept. 9-15, around World Suicide Prevention Day, which is celebrated on Sept. 10.

Get Help Here

• 988 National Lifeline
  • Call or text 988
• Crisis Text Line
  • Text 741741 to reach a volunteer Crisis Counselor for free
• National Domestic Abuse Hotline
  • Chat live at the link, call 800.799.7233 or text “START” to 88788