We aren’t trying to win any Olympic medals over here, but we see treading water and mastering a few basic strokes as critical. We knew this would be challenging for her since all previous encounters with large bodies of water have been met with fear and resistance, but at four years old, it was time to begin to learn to swim.

We found a wonderful friend from church who offers lessons and arranged for our kiddo to join an almost private class. We showed her videos of swim lessons on YouTube and took her to watch her older brothers swim in the bay. We told her how much fun it would be when she could paddle after them, and she’d learn it all at swim lessons. She expressed enthusiasm at the idea, until she saw the pool and froze at the gate.

We have now had three lessons. The first lesson she stood at the doorway for 45 minutes. The second lesson she threw a few rings into the water for her classmate to catch. The third lesson was groundbreaking in that we managed to have her step onto the top step of the stairs and get her feet wet. Baby steps.

We would prefer that she could at least float on her back by now with water-based and water-adjacent activities still on the calendar. However, as anyone who has parented a four-year-old knows, there’s no forcing a child to do what that child is not ready to do. We can set them up for success, but in the end it’s her choice. This is also true about packing fruit for lunch, but I digress …

In all honesty, this feels painfully similar to the work of evangelization. We have probably all had friends, family members or coworkers who have expressed interest in learning more about Christianity or Catholicism. We’ve answered questions, shared books or podcasts and even invited them to classes or parish missions. It can be maddening when we feel that answers can be found in the truths of our faith, but it’s just not “clicking.”

The mystery of conversion is that we can remove obstacles to faith by explanation and invitation. At the end of the day, we can’t force anyone to believe. Our role when accompanying someone on this journey is often not so much eloquence as it is prayerful perseverance — staying present and supportive through questions and doubts or stretches where it can feel like not much is happening. 

I don’t know if my daughter will ever voluntarily get her knees wet in the pool, but we will keep showing up and supporting her on the journey, even though it can feel frustrating (and very hot) to sit with her beside the water.

Accompanying a friend on a journey of faith can be very rewarding; there’s nothing like having a role in bringing someone to a place where they encounter Christ in a personal way. However, this accompaniment can also include times where it seems that nothing is happening, and sometimes we may never know the fruits of our efforts on this side of heaven. 

Study and sharing is important. And prayerful patience is equally critical in the work of evangelization. Hearts and minds are not moved by our effort, but by the work of the Holy Spirit.