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Celebrating international friendship
Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners. He talked about worship with a woman who'd had five husbands and had, as they spoke, a current live-in. Jesus made one of her compatriots, a Samaritan considered the natural enemy of the day, the hero of a parable. And he called rough-and-tumble fishermen, a political activist, a youth, and a dreamer whom he saw sitting under a fig tree to become apostles.
Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners. He talked about worship with a woman who'd had five husbands and had, as they spoke, a current live-in. Jesus made one of her compatriots, a Samaritan considered the natural enemy of the day, the hero of a parable. And he called rough-and-tumble fishermen, a political activist, a youth, and a dreamer whom he saw sitting under a fig tree to become apostles.
Obviously, one of the things which Jesus modeled was the gift of perceiving the good that lay within — under the layers of bravado, the reputations and public perceptions. He read the secrets of people’s hearts. With that ability, he was able to elicit what was wholesome and holy in their impulses and hopes. He could see through to what author Matthew Kelly has called “the best version” of themselves.
None of us wants to admit that we have prejudices. However, it seems inevitable that because of upbringing and limited exposure to people unlike ourselves, we tend to pre-judge. We all know the stereotypes and while our faith urges us not to succumb to them, the chances are strong that we do. Think of the conclusions that we may reach, for example, about people displaying extensive body art and body piercings. Or what about their manner of dress? Or evident age? Or ethnicity? Or accent? Or weight? Do we instinctively picture people in our own image and likeness and leave out others when we hear the phrase “children of God”?
In the aftermath of World War I, the British poet Thomas Hardy wrote “The Man He Killed.” It is a short, ironic and poignant lyric in the voice of a man who has killed an enemy infantryman and realized that, in another situation, he might have sat down with him and treated him to a drink at a pub. When I travel in ecumenical and interfaith circles, I often find an emphasis on table-sharing. People are invited by the Atlantic Institute to learn about the cuisine of many cultures. During Interfaith Harmony Month, religious groups in Greenville, Columbia, Aiken, Charleston, Sumter and Hilton Head host open house gatherings which include some sampling of foods or partaking of meals. In some ways, these events illustrate Hardy’s point about peacemaking.
There is something about getting to know people in a setting where there is good food and congeniality. What we most often find is that we have far more in common than we have dividing us. We may not see the world and God in the same ways, but we all do seem to value family, faith, good deeds, good work, simple pleasures, security and peace.
Several years ago, as an outgrowth of an initiative by the Fellowship of South Carolina Bishops, a group formed in Bluffton at St. Gregory the Great Church. Its initial mission was confronting hate and particularly racial bias and hatred. It evolved into a group called Catholics for the Common Good and set as its purposes the promotion of racial understanding, care for the environment and the basic principles of Catholic social teaching.
For three years now, the group has sponsored a potluck on or around International Friendship Day, which is celebrated annually on July 30 since being established by the United Nations in 2011. We will mark the day again with a potluck lunch at St. Gregory, this time on Saturday, July 27.
In past years, we have drawn members of our parish and neighbors from the ecumenical community. They have donned ethnic costumes, brought special dishes, and enjoyed conversation with one another. We have had participants who have arrived in South Carolina themselves, or a generation or two back, from Norway, Nigeria, Mexico, the Philippines, Germany, Ireland and India to name a few. Members of Campbell Chapel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Bluffton, Lowcountry Presbyterian and the Latter Day Saints Church on Hilton Head Island have joined us for this event, as they have with many others — interfaith dialogues at a synagogue, fundraisers and prayer for Ukraine, the annual Walk for Water, Martin Luther King Jr. Day ceremonies and days of prayer for special causes.
What we notice as we have gotten to know one another is that, the next time we meet, there are warm greetings and sometimes hugs. This happened with me twice recently — once this May with the pastor of Campbell Chapel at an outdoor National Day of Prayer observance and once in April at Coastal Carolina Hospital. The hospitalist who was treating one of our sisters reminded me that we had first met when he and his family attended last summer’s potluck.
I think the Lord would wholeheartedly applaud such events. Some people call them “friend-raisers.” After all, Jesus reminded the Apostles at the Last Supper that he was calling them friends. We celebrated Independence Day this month, the same month in which people around the world celebrate International Friendship Day. May we here in the U.S.A. pray that we open our hearts to someone we only know in terms of a category.
May we spend a bit of time sharing our stories, breaking bread and, if so desired, buying someone a drink — iced tea, lemonade, coffee, cola, water or a brew à la Thomas Hardy. That will go a long way toward confronting our pre-judging and repairing the world.
Sister Pamela Smith, SSCM, Ph.D., is the diocesan director of Ecumenical and Interreligious Affairs and writes the monthly Faith Matters column for The Miscellany. Email her at psmith@charlestondiocese.org.