The charm of their firstborn changed everything. They had eight more children in 13 years, but only five survived to adulthood: Marie, Pauline, Leonie, Celine and Therese. To support their brood, Louis made watches and Zelie supervised a lacemaking business.

Louis Martin was a modern helpmate of a husband, long before it was fashionable. He sold his business in 1871 and supported Zelie with buyers and suppliers. Zelie kept up the business pace, even as her health failed after 1873, a testimony to her amazing energy. She worked hard!

The term “helpmate” is biblical (see Gn 2:18, 2:20). The Hebrew eser k’negdo translates to helpmate. Eser is a derivative of help, which shares a root that means strength (oz). The root of k’negdo means opposite or “in front of.” It’s usually translated “corresponding to him.” Clearly, it does not imply subservience but mutual strength.

Despite spiritual and material wealth, the Martins had worries and tears. They hired wet-nurses and servants to help them handle the domestic load. In at least one case, the wet nurse failed in her duties, and the poor infant starved to death. Reading between the lines, both Leonie and Therese had sensitive ears, and Leonie had a severe learning disability and allergies. This isn’t heaven.

After Zelie died in 1877 from breast cancer, Louis sold the lace business and moved to Lisieux to be closer to family. The voluminous correspondence among the girls testifies to his solicitous care of them after their valiant mother’s death. They didn’t just esteem heaven because Zelie was there. The family made heaven real in their love for one another. 

Few couples prioritize the spiritual over the bodily union. Either way, helpmates point to the eternal lives of souls. Thus, the human body has meaning beyond the “accidental” facts of gender difference.

Men and women need one another. The creativity of men is oriented toward action, protecting and sustaining life. The physical strength and ability to focus on the task at hand tend toward domination of the created order. Men build castles, while women build relationships. Women are receptive and nurturing. The feminine ability to conceive and nurse a child implies a gender goal exclusive to women: to bring forth new life, physically, spiritually and emotionally. 

Because the receptivity of a woman led to the advent of the Messiah, in the new covenant, women have a unique role to play. Receptivity is prior to creativity.

All five Martin girls entered religious orders. One might worry that the girls were coached to seek the religious life that had eluded their parents. But their family charism of faith inspired Therese’s “Little Way,” which has brought the Martin family’s joy to millions of people. That’s a pretty good earthly return on an investment of spiritual yearning.

Men and women were created to work together. We cannot take the kingdom by force, nor can we force others to love as Jesus taught us. Love is discovered by practicing it. To serve is to reign, and the fullness of human perfection is found in obedience to God’s will and in mastering our passions.