These and many other questions are probably all too familiar to many in South Carolina as recovery from Hurricane Helene continues. Rebuilding can be a long road, and it can feel especially exhausting with the expectations brought by November and December. 

It’s where our family was in 2018. Thanksgiving and Christmas were right around the corner and I began to feel increasingly overwhelmed at the thought of attempting the regular traditions. How would I bake cookies with the contents of our kitchen in storage? Mailing Christmas cards did not make me feel festive when it felt like we were already communicating all day, every day, with insurance and homebuilding representatives. 

I was sharing all this with my friend, Mindy, whose family was also displaced. After I relayed this, I asked her how she planned to handle Thanksgiving and Christmas. She looked at me and said the most sensible thing I had heard in months. “Oh, I’m not doing anything.”

She added, for clarification, how caring for her young children outside their home while navigating all the unexpected events of the last month had led her family to decide that they could forgo all non-essential tasks. They would go celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas with friends and family; she’d bring a store-bought side.

Mindy was right. Inspired by her advice, we realized we also didn’t have to stress about the extras. Our celebration of the Christmas season was just as meaningful, though I did not mail Christmas cards. And I wore a summer dress with a sweater to the vigil Mass because it was the only thing I could find among the boxes on Dec. 24. We stuck with the essentials, and that year stands out in my mind because in the middle of so much stress, we found consolation in the important parts of the season.

Although this may feel so far in the distance for those still displaced and rebuilding, little by little, restoration happened. We moved back into our houses, the internet returned and stores reopened. I still think of Mindy’s statement whenever things start to feel overwhelming. Of course, it usually doesn’t mean I don’t do anything — although sometimes that’s the right choice — but it does help me remember how often I can allow thoughts of what I should do turn into what I think I must do, leading down the path to unnecessary worry. 

The months of November and December are especially prone to these thoughts. Maybe you are still in actual storm recovery, having to adjust expectations and grieve what’s not possible this year. Maybe the stressors in your life are the meals, shopping, gifts, matching pajamas and events that feel impossible to keep.

While it’s usually not possible to shrug off our entire to-do list for the holidays, it’s worth examining what can be simplified or eliminated for our spiritual well-being and mental health. When we prepare for the season, we have choices: What brings us closer to God? What brings our family closer together? What is essential for my family at this time, and what do I need to let go of this year? At the end of my life, what will I be glad I spent time on?

When Dec. 25 arrives, no one will be discussing that you opted for store-bought cookies instead of homemade — but you will know if you were able to take time for prayerful preparation and time with those you love.