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By Valerie Soop

I recently spoke at a discernment retreat for women in their 20s and 30s.

My first word to the retreatants or anyone in the midst of discerning a major life choice is: RELAX. Seriously. It’s going to be OK.

My peers regularly stress out as they seek answers to the questions: what am I supposed to do with my life, what is my vocation, etc. While most often fueled by a sincere desire to be the person God created us to be, to fulfill our unique mission in life à la Blessed John Henry Newman, we can easily succumb to the belief that our life hasn’t really started yet.

We get the feeling that life won’t really start until we’ve discovered our specific mission, until we’ve learned our vocation, until we’re married, until we’ve taken vows, until ...

C.S. Lewis’ “The Screwtape Letters” come to mind and I imagine old Screwtape instructing his demon apprentice Wormwood on how to distract mankind from doing the will of God by getting him to merely think about it.

And not only think about it, but become so fraught with anxiety over discerning God’s will, fearful of making a wrong decision, that they surrender the peace and trust necessary for good discernment without even realizing it.

Or, if they have, for example, discerned their vocation but not yet taken the vows of matrimony, the final vows of religious life, been ordained, or begun a certain mission as single for the Lord, then Screwtape would keep them daydreaming about what good Christian disciples they will be in the future once they’re fully living their vocation and their lives have truly begun.

Sound familiar? Stop being duped by these sorts of lies! The enemy is a wily one and he knows that he must be subtle in opposing the work of committed Christians.

So what are we to do? Stop living in the future and start living now. The present moment is the actual point in time where man encounters God.

Now is a good time for a reality check. What is life all about? The short but profound answer is God. God is the goal. He is our end. The goal in this life on earth is to grow in holiness so as to enjoy eternal life. And what is holiness but that perfect union with Christ that St. Paul expresses when he says “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me” (Gal. 2:20)? And what is eternal life but ... wait for it ... union with God? Are you seeing any connections here?

While God calls each of us to a certain vocation in which we will best flourish and grow in holiness, the goal in life is not to discern your vocation — the goal is God. We can “work towards” that goal by living in the present and doing God’s work. Even in the midst of discerning choices for the future, you can love God and the people around you. I once heard a priest say that if you don’t know what your mission in life is, just start doing the corporal and spiritual acts of mercy. Good advice.

Do not wait to do God’s work. Do not play into the enemy’s hands. Keep things in perspective. Keep the focus on God and not on yourself. Then relax knowing that God’s will for you is to be united with Him in love and you can experience that now.

God’s love for you is not contingent upon you discerning the right vocation or the right mission. He loves you infinitely right now. Quick math review: adding anything to infinity still equals infinity. There is no such thing as infinity +1 just as there is no such thing as God loving you any more once you’ve discerned your vocation.

Trust in that love. Let your soul be at peace. Now you’re ready for discernment.

Valerie Soop is the associate director of Young Adult Ministry for the Diocese of Charleston. She can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

MOUNT PLEASANT--The Beach House, a new building at Christ Our King Church in Mount Pleasant, is a place where youth and seniors can come together to share fun, knowledge and fellowship.

The $2.2 million house officially opened after the noon Mass on April 14. Bishop Emeritus David B. Thompson blessed the building, youth and adult choirs sang, and about 150 people toured the structure described on a sign out front as an “inter-generational facility.”

Msgr. James A. Carter, pastor of Christ Our King, said the idea for the Beach House dates back to 2008, when he fi rst started talking with people in the parish about the possibility of bringing the youth and senior ministries together under one roof. Previously, the groups met in separate houses on the parish property off Russell Street.

“It was a desire to meld the energy of youth with the wisdom of seniors, not to rob each of their private space but to see how their lives could be enriched by each other," Msgr. Carter said.

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Christ Our King parishioners were involved at every level of the project. GBA Architects of Charleston handled the overall design. Lauren Sanchez Design planned the beach-themed interior, and building was done by Hill Construction.

From the beginning, the Beach House was designed to be an environmentally sustainable, green building, and is certified by Earth Craft, a sustainable design company based in Atlanta.

The building’s design was inspired by a Sullivan’s Island house that Msgr. Carter’s grandfather built in 1908 and named “Shanraw Cottage” after his home region in Ireland.

The 6,700-square foot structure includes a reflection room that houses the parish library, a large central room with a fireplace, a computer work space, working kitchen and dining area, separate offices for the youth and senior ministries, and 1,800 square feet of porches.

The beach theme is present everywhere in the facility. There’s even a nod to historical construction practices of the Lowcountry with a large central chimney made with oyster-shell  “tabby,” a building material that was used extensively in colonial-era Charleston.

Youth minister Ann Sottile said the goal is for youth and seniors to use the house for their own activities plus shared ones. The groups have already met to do crafts and take a dance class, and future plans will focus on meals, cooking classes and gardening.

Outdoor areas around the Beach House include a volleyball court, a grass lawn for bocce and other games, and an outdoor chess board. The project also incorporated a small conference center, The Russell House, which offers space for Scouts and other community groups.

“I think it’s going to work great, and it’s especially nice to be in a building like this with so much space,” said Dot Comar, 88, who is active in the senior ministry. “We were in such a little place for a long time, this place is going to offer a lot more things for a lot more people."

“It’s a really beautiful building, and it’s great that it’s going to give us time to come together with the seniors,” said Darian Bordon, 15, a student at Bishop England High School and member of Christ Our King youth group. “I think this building will be a great way to bring the whole church together.”

TIFFIN, OHIO—Rosemary K. Baker of Fostoria died April 8 in Tiffin. She was 96. She was a retired nurse and homemaker, and mother of Bishop Robert J. Baker of the Diocese of Birmingham, Ala., and formerly the Diocese of Charleston, S.C.

The Mass of Resurrection was held April 11 at St. Wendelin Church in Fostoria. The burial was in the parish cemetery.

She was born June 9, 1916, in New Washington to the late Clemence and Blanche Sutter Alt. She was a 1935 graduate of Shelby High School and received her bachelor’s degree in nursing in 1938 from St. Rita’s School of Nursing in Lima. She was a member of St. Wendelin Church and served on the Rosary Altar Society and the memorial choir. She married the late Gerald S. Baker on Feb. 22, 1941, at Mother of Sorrow Church in North Auburn.

She was preceded in death by her sons, Dr. John and James Baker. Surviving are her sons Bishop Robert Baker of Birmingham, and Tom Baker of Fostoria; a daughter, Mary Ann Jepsen of Powell; a daughter in-law, Linda Baker of Columbus; three sisters, Ann Studer and Alice William, both of Shelby, and Joan Rospert of Norwalk; 13 grandchildren; and 24 great-grandchildren.

Memorial gifts may be made to:
Diocese of Birmingham, Camp
Tekakwitha Fund, Phase II, c/o
Bishop Robert J. Baker, P. O. Box
12047, Birmingham, AL, 35202-2047.

KINGSTREE—Florence Kaster died April 3, 2013, at McLeod Hospice House in Florence. She was 91.

The funeral Mass was held April 6 at St. Ann Church with burial in St. Stanislaus Cemetery.

Kaster was born March 29, 1922, in Titusville, Penn., a daughter of the late Adam and Florence Waschek Kaster. She attended school in Pennsylvania, and then became involved with the Grail Catechetical Movement as a missionary catechist.

In recognition of her devoted service to the church, Kaster received The Pro Ecclesia et Pontifice (for the Church and Pontiff) medal in 1999.

Prior to that, in 1979, she was honored as the first recipient of the Lumen Christi Award for her service to the poor in the rural areas of Williamsburg County.

Kaster began her missionary path as an administrative assistant to Father Patrick Quinlan in Connecticut and Iowa, working with the Catholic Rural Life Movement.

In 1950, she joined Father Quinlan in Kingstree to help with his evangelization mission in the rural parish, which covered over 900 miles but had only 40 members.

For over 50 years, Kaster remained a devoted member of St. Ann and served the sprawling parish, where she led many programs, gave out clothing, conducted classes, and led prayers. She made house calls to visit the sick, teach about Jesus, or lead the rosary.

She also served the parish as a council member and bookkeeper, developed and led a local teen club, and helped senior citizens.

In her 80s, Kaster continued to serve the community, delivering Meals on Wheels, driving other seniors to their destinations, and leading small prayer groups.

She is survived by several nieces and nephews.